The reason…
So now, the reason I am writing this blog and our story behind it. Our lives forever changed on Feb 3, 2022 with a phone call from a Dr.
Courtney had a scheduled minor outpatient procedure at a surgery center performed on her foot that morning and things went horribly wrong. I will save that story for another time.
We dropped everything and flew up to Colorado Springs to be with her. To say we were scared and in shock is an understatement. Our world was turned upside down. The few things that I am thankful for during this time is that our entire family was there for the majority of those 10 days. We hung out with her, shared stories about her, laughed and loved on her and each other. We listened to her Spotify playlist and her partner played the banjo for her. I got to wash her hair one last time. What a special moment that will always be for me. My last act of service for her in her physical form. Although Courtney was in a coma, I know she was right there with us for every second of it. Courtney had always been very adamant about being an organ donor since getting her drivers license. With all the tests run and no hope left, plans began with the donor process and finding recipients. We had a few extra days to spend with her while this was done.
On Feb 13, 10 days after the nightmare began, we said goodbye to our beautiful Courtney. We got to hold and kiss her hand, stroke her hair and cheeks as her physical body finished it’s journey on this earth. We would never see her smile again, hear her laughter and smart ass comments that she was so good at. Never experience her witty comebacks, sense of humor, her bear hugs and her wonder at life. We will mourn her physical absence immensely, until we join her one day.
If you have no idea what this kind of grief feels like and “ can’t imagine”, feel very blessed that it hasn’t happened to you yet. Losing a child is the absolute worst thing a parent can go through. How do we go on? How do we survive each day we have left on this earth without them? How do we even breathe?! They are not supposed to go before us!
Yet here we are.
Join me while I share our journey of the immense pit of grief we have been trying to claw our way out of and the surprising growth we have experienced and discovered these past 18 months. The REALness of all of it. I won't sugar coat it. It will most likely be uncomfortable for you at times. BUT! I will also share all of the signs and amazing moments that she has shown us she is right here beside us still. My spiritual connection with her has been what keeps me moving forward.
Today it has been 18 months since she transitioned. If you would, please send love to us and to her.
Courtney in one of her favorite places, doing one of the things she loved.